Are You In a Marriage Rut?

Are You In a Marriage Rut?

Rut #1: Watching TV During Dinner

Why it's bad: Yeah, we know...it's the season finale! But ever heard of face-time? You can't connect with your eyes glued to the tube.
Bust it: Set aside an hour for one-on-one dinners sans TV, phone, or Blackberry three nights a week. You'll feel closer within days.

Rut #2: Going Too Long Without Sex
Why it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide inflatable bounce, you get used to the decreased intimacy, and can go even longer without wanting that closeness.
Bust it: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex just because. This will jump-start your feelings so you'll crave it more often.

Rut #3: Going a Whole Workday Without Talking
Why it's bad: You may start growing apart emotionally after disconnecting so much during the entire workweek.
Bust it: Initiate daily contact with a quick "How's your day?" email. Postwork, pick up their fave dessert or call from the store to see if they need something.

Rut #4: Not Fighting
Why it's bad: It might seem like staying mum is better, but not talking out issues when they first bubble up makes 'em fester.
Bust it: Be calm but firm. Say, "It hurts my feelings when ______. I was hoping we could figure out a new way to handle the situation together."

Rut #5: Going out More with Friends Than with Your Spouse
Why it's bad: It sends the message that your friends only get to see the "fun" you, and your spouse is well, just the person you live with.
Bust it: Still go out with your crew, but switch it up by making your mate your partner-in-crime for your wild night out reenex facial. They may just surprise you. -- Nestpert Susan Fletcher, Ph.D., author of Parenting in the Smart Zone


Rut #6: Feeling Let Down After the Wedding and Honeymoon Are Over

Why it's bad: It's very normal to feel let down after all the drama of wedding as theater, however, brides are not so willing to face this and even more reluctant to admit to the feelings.

Bust it: Date night is imperative, even in the first year of marriage, as is making time for one another despite busy schedules. Wives report they feel they 'disappear' quickly, and this can be avoided by planning happy, romantic outings, even a walk in the park, or a Saturday at the zoo.

Rut #7: Getting Stuck in a Boring Routine
Why it's bad: Nothing busts passion like not having some romance and being too consumed with work, family, money issues.

Bust it: Try not to complain once you are in a routine and if your husband is whining about something, diffuse it Unique Beauty. Suggesting creative and spur-of-the-moment dates is an easy way to battle routine.

Rut #8: Prioritizing Your Career Over Your Relationship
Why it's bad: A couple where both partners are preoccupied with their careers faces challenges in terms of time.